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Monday, March 26, 2012

Dumb Blonde

Late in the day greetings to all,

We have been busy all morning, starting with a wake up call from the staff where Mr S lives concerned about his health, getting us an earlier than usual start to the day. Since they were seeing what could be signs of a stroke we didn't hesitate and hurried on over to see him for ourselves. All is well, he was just sleeping on his side. His facial muscles have no tone on that side (from a stroke in 2003) and it gives the impression of a problem. 

There was reason for action though as he had been staying in his room again and not eating like he should and diabetics just can't do that (as I have to remind myself). We took him to lunch and filled him up with some eggs and bacon and he was doing much better when we took him back home. 

If you have someone living in a nursing home or assisted living facility, you need to check on them frequently as folks tend to get into a bad habit of hiding out in their room and not interacting with others. Even if you have to enlist other family or friends to share the visit schedule so it can be done. The results are beneficial for both parties. It helps to combat boredom, depression and poor habits like not eating regularly.

The weather in beautiful downtown Fallon has been peek-a-boo sun and clouds all day with a high in the mid 50's. A slight chance of rain exists and we are expecting the wind to pick up again to 30 mph from the SW as fronts roll across the west bringing terrific rains to the coastal areas.

The animals are going crazy around here! The dogs are running in circles barking at who knows what. The birds at our bird feeder are all upset because an overstuffed dove has decided to sit in the food dish, which makes no sense, because it covers the dish and then can't reach the seed. The sparrows are flapping, flying, and fussing their teeny heads off, but the dove could apparently not care less. 

Even Napoleon my Emperor Scorpion has gone Uber Decorator this morning and pulled his moss away from his hiding spot and rearranged everything, again. He is back to soaking his massive pincers in his water dish, (probably dishpan claws from all the moving) and is fussing with the rock I put in the water dish to keep him from doing a headstand in the bowl. I swear with the way he likes to redecorate his apartment, I am thinking of getting him a little rainbow flag to fly from his roof. 

I was watching a clip of George Carlin this afternoon and it reminded my of this short funny story I wrote a while back at Anna's insistence when I told the story to her. 

Words are funny things as George and Bill Cosby have made us aware. Not so much all by themselves but in the way that we have become accustomed to using them. For example: 

    "Watch for Lightning", the weather site says... So you can do what, jump out of the way if it tries to hit you?

      Or, "Keep your eye on the ball." ... Wouldn't it be better if I used the bat?

The concept of words and their usage was on my mind when the following story took place.

Dumb Blonde

Once, when I was coming down the flexible tunnel from the gate and about to board an airliner to fly somewhere, t
he line was stopped for some reason. When it was OK to go forward again the stewardess said to me, "You may get on the plane now." 

Remembering a George Carlin line from one of his stand up routines, I cleaned it up a little and said, "No Thanks, I think I'll get inside instead." 

The young blonde stewardess put her hand on my arm, and stood there with her face twitching and going through a range of emotions and grimaces, obviously not knowing what to make of what I had said. She turned around with her hand over her mouth and another stewardess stepped up and took over the doorway greeting job. 

I made my way to my seat thinking to myself, "Well, THAT went over like a lead balloon."

A little while later that same stewardess walked by, then stopped, backed up and looked me in the eye... then punched me in the arm. Hard! She said, "You rat, you cost me five bucks!" Then went on down the aisle. 

I was racking my brain trying to think of what FAA regulation I had broken, or caused her to break. Nothing was coming to mind and believe me, being an air traffic controller I had a pretty good working knowledge of regulations, it was my business to know them. 

After the flight got airborne and I was at least sure that I wasn't going to be asked to leave the plane, I settled down a bit, but still wondered why a little joke had gotten me in such hot water. The stew with the mean right hand came along serving drinks, accompanied by her relief pitcher. It was the second, brunette stewardess who finally explained it to me.

Stew # 2 (the brunette) had bet Stew #1 (blonde) that she could not board the entire passenger list without laughing, as she is easily tickled and gets consumed with the giggles constantly. Stew #1 had rallied to her own defense and bet $5.00 that she could do it. Stew #2 said that it was looking like the girl was going to succeed, as I was among the last half dozen to board. 

She also said that Stew #1 is so tight with her money that she "does long division" on the back of her ticket to figure out the tip to the penny at lunch. So she really HATES to lose a bet involving money.

My little joke got to Stew #1 and made her crack up, which is why all of the facial gymnastics as she tried valiantly not to laugh. And explained why I got the shot in the arm; and the silent treatment for the rest of the flight.

On the way out I stopped in front of this blonde sore loser and extended my hand in a parting gesture of, no-hard-feelings. The girl reluctantly took my hand, and then hugged me to her like a long lost relative.

As I walked down the concourse, the brunette stewardess chased and caught up with me and asked, "You palmed a fiver to her didn't you?" 

I admitted that I had. I felt bad about costing her the bet and just wanted to ease my own conscience. 

The second girl shook her head and said, "Damn her, I felt bad about her losing the money and told her to forget the bet. Now SHE's up five bucks and she lost the bet."
Yeah, blondes are all dumb alright...

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